Stories about our children

We all love listening to stories about our children. It is always about pride, love and tenderness. About children’s antics, their successes and achievements. These are the stories that cheer us up and lift our spirits.

However, the war has changed us, our children and their stories. Even the most resilient adults feel their blood run cold when they hear the stories.

Kira Obedynska and Ilya Matvienko. They are both from the once modern and progressive, and today completely destroyed Mariupol.

Kira was born into a happy family but lost her mother in the first year of her life. She grew up with a loving father in a family of athletes. At the age of 12, she lost her father, was abducted and taken to Russian-controlled areas.

Kira’s father, Yevhen Obedynsky, a former captain of Ukraine’s water polo team, was killed on the balcony of his own apartment in Mariupol while he was on duty to report fires and damage from shelling. The Russian military shot him in the head.

Kira tried to flee the city on foot together with other civilians. A land mine killed another child on their way and Kira got her ear wounded by the debris. Her whole face was covered in blood. From there she was taken first to Mangush and then to a hospital in occupied Donetsk. There the girl had the debris removed from her ear.

Oleksandr Obedynsky, Kira’s grandfather, is an Honored water polo coach in Ukraine. He and his wife were able to leave Mariupol for Chernivtsi. The occupants threatened him that Kira would be deported to Russia as an orphan and placed in an orphanage.

However, the story of Kira from Mariupol had a happy ending. The grandfather managed to take custody of the girl as soon as possible and the Ukrainian authorities made sure that the grandfather could take the child back to the territory of Ukraine. He had a long way to go: from Kyiv to Poland by train, then he took a plane to Turkey, from there he went to Moscow by plane, then, from Moscow to Rostov by train, and then he went by car to Donetsk. The Russian military demanded that the child must be taken personally.

Now Kira is with her grandfather in NDSL “OKHMATDYT” in Kyiv. Psychologists work are working with her. They don’t talk to her about her father. However, she does not let go of the only thing she has left from her closest person – her father’s phone. The girl’s psychological and emotional state is serious. She constantly asks if there could be shelling and bombing in Kyiv. And she is very scared when her grandfather leaves her alone for a while.

Illia. Illia and his mother tried to escape the bombing in Mariupol and came under fire. His mother was wounded in the head, and Illia had his leg torn. The mother managed to drag her 10-year-old son to a friend’s house. There, lying alone with her wounded son on the couch and hugging him, she died. The friend, realizing that the woman was pulseless, took the child away.

The next day, Illia was abducted by the Russian military. First to Novoazovsk, and then to Donetsk. His legs were severely injured. The doctors suggested an amputation and discussed it in the presence of the boy. He was conscious and heard everything. However, the leg remained movable and the doctors opted for surgery.

Illia, like Kira, was to be taken to Russia as an orphan and given up for adoption. But his grandmother fought for her grandson. The Ukrainian government fought for it together with her. Just like Kira’s grandfather, Illia’s grandmother also had a long way to go to take the child home.

The boy is currently in Kyiv. Doctors have checked up on Illia’s leg. Despite significant damage to the back of the thigh, he can move his toes, which means that the function is preserved and after a long treatment Illia will be able to walk. Illia is a fighter. He is positive, easy-going and sociable. But when he is alone, his mood quickly fades. Psychologists from OKHMATDYT are working with the boy. Meanwhile, his grandmother never leaves the grandson alone.

And this is Danylo from Chernihiv. A cheerful and smart first-grader who eagerly went to school. Among other subjects, he loved mathematics the most. The moment the full-scale Russian invasion of Ukraine started, Sasha was at home with his mother Natalia and his father Oleksandr. His school was one of the first buildings to be destroyed. A week since the war started, the heating and electricity in the family’s apartment were cut off. A few days later, water was also cut off. There were only a few litres of water left for the family. It was impossible to survive in such conditions, so the father decided to go look for water while the mother and the boy were hiding in a bomb shelter.

However, as soon as they left home, the shelling began. A cluster mine exploded near them. Everything around began to blow up. The windows were blown out. Everyone fell down to the ground. The parents tried to cover their son.

6-year-old Danylo got severe abdominal injuries, suffered multiple shrapnel wounds to his legs and a fracture of the lower limb, also 2 fragments hit the child in the back. The parents were also injured. The mother’s artery was hit by fragments. The father suffered severe leg injuries.

Danylo, together with his mom and dad, were taken to different hospitals in the city. The 6-year-old boy was recorded by doctors as “unknown”. For four days, the parents had no idea where their child was. Since both of them were seriously injured, neither parent was able to move. They did not see each other for 16 days. However, the parents managed to find their son.

Due to Danylo’s severe bowel injury, 60 cm of the organ had to be excised by the doctors in Chernihiv. Volunteers helped the family evacuate to Kyiv. Now the whole family is in the department of orthopaedics and traumatology in NDSL “OKHMATDYT”. The victims had surgery and the fragments were excised. Long-term treatment and rehabilitation lie ahead of Danylo and his parents.

The stories of our children are extremely painful today. However, our pride, love and tenderness for them are eternal and indestructible. And we, the adults, will leave no stone unturned to give each child a smile, confidence and trust in this world. There is the victory ahead of us, loud children’s laughter, and children’s antics and tricks.

Meanwhile, psychologists from the Order of the Phoenix * project are working with the affected children by providing them with support and assistance.

Phoenix Order
Crisis psychological support and rehabilitation program for Ukrainian children affected by the war.

There are a few focus areas within the framework of the project:
Urgent development of the methodology together with the leading specialists and institutions from the United States, Israel and Ukraine;
Establishment of a single centre for training, internships and certification of child crisis psychologists in Ukraine;
Creating a network of professional crisis psychologists. The psychologists will work with the most difficult cases. Namely, children from the most affected areas with ongoing warfare.
Rehabilitation of injured children abroad (for those who have survived the death of their loved ones, suffered injuries, acts of violence, or other traumatic experiences).